I’ve noticed that people, myself included, tend to be drawn to disastrous events. Natural disasters are fascinating. The misery of others are attention-grabbing. And often, I tend to want to exaggerate my own problems to feel better about being upset about them. That makes no sense – right? Why should we humans, from which the basis for ‘humanitarian’ is derived, feel drawn to misfortune – which is a lowering of vibration and energy? Why do I sometimes feel compelled to magnify the negative? Perhaps this is a form of negative programming. If I read about others having misfortune and hardship, I can feel better about my own circumstances being undesirable. Perhaps I can use the disastrous results of others to remind myself to feel “grateful” for what I have, even if it is not what I desire. (I am using “grateful” to indicate being satisfied with what I have while being afraid to seek my true desires). Perhaps I use this “gratefulness” as an excuse not to take responsibility for my own circumstances!
Growing up, I learned that I was generally powerless to change my circumstances. As part of a minority race, it was drilled in my head early on by my parents about how my position in society (as a minority) was going to make my life harder, that I was generally seen as undesirable, and to be suspicious of others (outside the minority) trying to help me. I was taught to expect less, which meant in order to have more, I had to work myself twice or three times as hard as the next person. I learned to always be on guard. In a sense, I was programmed to take a dim view of the outside world. I learned to be cautious with what I wished for. I learned the world was a dangerous place that I had to work my way through carefully.
Now, I am realizing how I set myself back with my self-defeating beliefs. I’m not the only one. Many of us have been programmed for one reason or another to look on ourselves as being helpless victims of our circumstances. During this 50-day challenge, I am beginning to see how much of a direct effect my thoughts and words have on my experiences. This is an empowering concept. And scary, too. Because if I have power over my life, and my life is not where I want it, I am not a victim of poor circumstances, only poor thoughts. Wow!! My thoughts are the double-edged sword of my freedom or my demise! With that, I am continuing to move forward with thinking deliberately (Law of Deliberate Creation), to becoming the Master of Being, Master of (my) Reality.