My Busy Mind
My mind is buusssssssyyyyy……Always running alongtangledcircles and paths….. twisting, turning, changing…. Evolving?
I know I am (supposed to be) the master over my mind, but most times I allow my mind mastery over myself. I allow myself to be controlled by my thoughts, wishes, schedules, plans, worries… and so on. And I know better; I started formally learning
how to meditate at age 12. But I remember engaging in meditation around age 7. Meditation does not have to be difficult to do. It only requires conscious attention and awareness. Meditation is creating greater awareness - which is generally my focus and goal for everyday living: to focus and live in the present moment. The power of my consciousness is in the present moment.
Yet I am distracted by the process of living. I am distracted by needing or wanting to eat, and what to prepare, how that preparation of what to eat follows my determination to specific healthy choices of food… that are both easy to prepare and presently in my kitchen… and do I need to go grocery shopping… again? Do I have enough money in my shopping account – and oh yes, speaking of – did I check my emails to see if I made final qualification for that job…. Now where was I? Oh right – focusing and staying in awareness of the present. Because it is in the present where positive change and magic happens. And breathing is really easy because it’s automatic and… my cell phone beeps, interrupting my flow of thoughts.
Hmmmm. So yes, my thoughts are busy and constantly in interruption mode from either inside thoughts and sensations or outside distractions. When it comes to projects, whether I enjoy them or not, I am often confronted by distractions of procrastination – as in thinking of a hundred other things I also “have” to do - or emotional avoidance (otherwise known as ‘not “feeling” like doing it’).
The first step to regaining control of my mind, reining in my thoughts, then, is simply being aware of my frequent (ok, nonstop) jaunts into the past or future – of whenever I am anyplace but now. I reel myself back in by looking around myself, grounding myself in my present, take a deep breath… and start again – from my present. This is more or less automatic, but what I am doing is bringing awareness to my latest flights of fancy and re-grounding in the now with the intention of staying present in my present activity in an attempt to give it my full attention. This re-grounding takes constant practice, and with enough practice evolves into discipline. This is the first step toward disciplining my mind, adding a little control to when and how often my thoughts wander off with my mind….
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